College: Continuing the Journey

The end is finally in sight.  This week is pretty much review, and then finals Monday and Wednesday next week. My time in college may be drawing to a close, but my journey towards a career is just heating up. After finals, I’m hoping to actively begin my search for a job. This will be a great help, in saving for University. I’ve already decided if I can help the situation any, I’d rather not go the student loans’ route. There are too many stories of people still being in the financial hole, years after graduating, because of paying off student loans.

Though putting that aside, I am finding myself becoming anxiety-ridden as the time comes forth for me to apply to Grant MacEwan. Still grappling with self-esteem issues I wonder daily, whether my writing portfolio will meet with approval. So much is riding on that portfolio, plus the application that will be going along with it. My hopes and dreams could suddenly take a nose dive, if I am rejected.

Okay, okay so maybe I’m being a little melodramatic here (ok, a lot!) but hey, I’ve wanted to be a journalist since I was little. Yes, growing up I admit I never really told anyone this dream. I think that was however, from the self-esteem issues that have become such an intertwined part of my life for so many years.  So what’s changed? Why am I suddenly picking up the dream again?  In a word, influence.

Making the acquaintances of local journalists the past several months has influenced me. These encounters have led me to wonder the timeless question “What if?”

What if I had never let the dream die, in the first place? What if I had actually pursued it actively from the get go? These are questions, I now feel I want to, and somewhat need to, find the answers to.

Perhaps I will never become a huge personality like Barbara Walters, whom I looked up to as a child. Yet, isn’t it more important to do what you love, and love what you do? Though, that could just be me. Time and hard work will tell what lies ahead for me.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kateshrewsday
    Aug 11, 2010 @ 05:41:34

    My husband and I are both trained journalists. The scariest thing he ever did was to walk into a BBC radio station ready for some work experience. Radio was his dream, and he was terrified of messing up. He tells me he just had to put one foot in front of the other, up the steps, through the front door… he didn’t think any further than that next step.

    Fear is part of the journalist’s job, and it just doesn’t get any easier, not if you’re any good. But if you’re a great writer – and you are – just do the next thing, even if that’s just put the application in an envelope. Then there’s a stamp….one tiny thing at a time to feel the fear and do it anyway:-)


  2. Laurie Callsen
    Aug 12, 2010 @ 15:58:01

    The teachers at MacEwan are (for the most part) very sweet and helpful. Don’t be afraid of j-school or of submitting your portfolio. This is where you get to make mistakes. Embrace the opportunity and embrace the fear.
    If you have any more questions about MacEwan (I just finished my j-school diploma this year) let me know via Twitter.

    Laurie (@Laurie_Callsen)


    • erindespas
      Aug 12, 2010 @ 16:04:55

      Thank you so much Laurie, that is awesome of you! I know I once spoke to a student advisor at Grant MacEwan that seemed very professional and eager to help.
      I will definitely take you up on the offer. lol


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